I started to clean up
my nest and will try
to make it more attractive
even if it is for me alone.
Now I’ve been told that I made
not hit with yesterdays girl
however she wishes to go out
with me just so. Strange
—————-
Matt’s Notes
Papa met a woman through a marriage broker yesterday, examined himself through her eyes, and found himself wanting. He questioned whether he was a worthy suitor, whether a laborer of his lot had a chance with a lovely, “naive” woman like her. I wonder if, when he got home, he maintained her point of view and made a similarly unforgiving survey of his bachelor pad: the piles of newspapers he while he idled through his factory’s slack season; stacks of Zionist flyers he hadn’t yet distributed; a cup and a plate unwashed on his table; his monstrous radio, all knobs and bolts and snaking wires, on a makeshift stand, its headphones resting on the seat of his chair.
It was the apartment of a man on his own, a man underemployed, a man who had, since his father’s death two month ago, been too sad and distracted and lost in the whirl of profound grief to pay much attention to his surroundings. Perhaps he felt the need to clean house because the sadness was fading and the need to rebuild his life, rethink his relationship to the world, had taken hold a bit more. Perhaps the approaching Fourth of July milestone made him take stock, or the messiness of the Democratic Convention, now past its fiftieth ballot and still deadlocked, made him feel the need to straighten up what he could.
Then again, maybe he just liked the woman he’d met and thought he might one day have her up for coffee. The marriage broker’s mixed report on her feelings about Papa — she wasn’t that impressed, but would deign to see him again — may have been a familiar part of the matchmaking game, a bit of a ruse to keep him on his toes. So when he says he wants to make his “nest…more attractive even if it is for me alone,” is there a touch of a wish, a hint of a hope, that it might not be that way for long?
—————–
References:
- HOW DELEGATES TOOK BRYAN’S SPEECH; Turmoil and Disorder Prevails as He Attempts to Push McAdoo. NEW YORK GROUP IS QUIET But Interrupters Were Plenty in the Other State Delegations. (From the July 3rd New York Times)
- M’ADOO DRIVE FALTERING; Vote Drops Steadily in Second Day of Continuous Balloting. (From the July 3rd New York Times)
- UNCEASING BALLOTS BENUMB GALLERIES; Din Headquarters Become Dormitories After Fiftieth Polling. (From the July 4th New York Times)