Monday Aug 11

It being a hopeless affair
although affection almost gone
I enjoyed this evening spending
2 hours with C. She asked me
to come out just as I thought
for a certain favor when she
made a party recently she forgot
about me

There will be nothing between
us, there being no other I
cannot resist the call [of her] so
it seems my heart is still
there.

—————

Well, well. It seems like an entire subplot has unfolded in Papa’s life without us knowing much about it. We do know “C.” is a woman named Clara — Papa mentioned her once before, on July 14, to note the hopelessness of their relationship — but that’s about all we’ve got. What “certain favor” could he have willingly let her use him for? His wording recalls his description of the “certain undertaking” he failed at back in June, so it must be something he considers embarrassing or inappropriate for even his private diary.

What is so compelling about her that Papa should tolerate her even though she keeps him on the sidelines of her social life? And when did he first succumb to her siren song? Is she an old love from the more distant past, or is she one of the many women he met this year through friends or a marriage broker?

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