Sunday July 27

by


Again C.I.

I am so unhappy

I went to the C.I. Synagogue
to say Kadish

I always had the greatest
sympathy for those who
said Kadish

and now I am one of
those unfortunate

—————–

Sometimes I feel irrationally helpless when I look at Papa’s entries, as if I could relieve his unhappiness if only I tried hard enough. He seems to have tapped a new vein of sadness, too, recently remarking on his hard luck and boredom and constant worries. Even Coney Island, where he at least enjoyed the water and the breezes and the scenery once in a while, registers as little more than another place to mourn, as if its only attraction was a surreal, synagogue-themed simulacrum off the Boardwalk.

I have little more to say right now other than Papa, this is you:


I miss him today.

Monday July 28

by


Tough luck,

—————–

Matt’s Notes

Since we know how full and satisfying Papa’s life was in the end, we know he would eventually master the feelings of loneliness and displacement and sadness he felt so often when he wrote his 1924 diary. His capacity for joy and optimism and contentment, the signs of which we also see clearly in many of his entries, would win out and define him for those who knew him later.

We know, too, that this diary, with its details about his father’s death, is in part a long study of how he mastered the attendant feelings of (in his own words) “lost Paradise,” the final loss of his youth, and the understanding that he couldn’t go home again. Somewhere between its lines lie the clues as to how a young man like Papa — forced by circumstance from his native country, faced with the pressure of supporting his family back home, compelled to help support his sisters’ families in New York, depressed by the contrast between his idealistic image of how he wants his life to be and how it really is, and later faced with the suicide of his sister, the extermination of his European family by Nazis, and countless other trials — could become so whole and generous when he had every right to be embittered and selfish.

But still, even though we know 1924 was a year of tremendous change for Papa, even though we know the wisdom he acquired through his trials was essential to the evolution of his character, his diary is not a novel and does not have neat, clean turning points or moments of sudden revelation. He still had to live each day of the year, and he still had to go through long periods when his true character failed him and his sadness became bottomless, when he felt so helpless in the face of circumstance that he could sit down with pen in hand and, unable to see into the future, find nothing to say except “tough luck.”

Tuesday July 29

by


——————

Matt’s Notes

Ever since his father died back in May, Papa has shown a tendency to leave his diary pages blank when he’s feeling especially low. He’s shown a pronounced shift into such a mood over the last week or so, though I’m not sure whether something specific triggered it or whether it’s just part of the ebb and flow of mourning. (It does seem to have roughly coincided with his return to work after a forced three-week break, so even though he’s happy to be making money again, perhaps the monotony of factory work has given him a sense of inertia.)

Wednesday July 30

by


Had an Executive meeting
in my house (Camp)

I am saddened, I am
so much out of luck
What will be the end
I am keeping my hard
luck toughts from my friends
and from my sisters,

I am so heavily indebted
the prospect for the future
is not bright, and all
that is boring and ebbing
the life out of me.

—————

Matt’s Notes

I think the second-to-last line of this entry reads “that is boring and ebbing,” but I’m not quite sure I’m reading the word “boring” right. Here’s how it looks:

In any event, I suppose that’s a minor point considering everything else Papa has to say. I’ve wondered at times whether he confided in his friends or showed outward signs of worry during more trying times, but he answers that question today when he writes “I am keeping my hard luck thoughts from my friends and from my sisters.” I suppose his friends, especially those in “The Maccabean” (a chapter of the Zionist fraternal order B’nai Zion in which Papa was an officer) and his sisters looked to him for too much support, relied too much on his seemingly endless strength, for him to show them how overwhelmed he felt at times.

But could his friends and family really not know? In recent days Papa’s been struck anew by sadness over his father’s death, his financial woes, and the monotony of bachelorhood. He’s felt especially low. I wonder if he mentioned his efforts to keep his concerns under wraps today because he thought he might have inadvertently revealed them during the Maccabean meeting in his apartment. Did he feel like his spare furnishings, the big radio around which his private time revolved, the telephone he installed specifically to relieve his loneliness, were all physical evidence of the internal struggles he hoped to hide?

Whatever the reasons he brought it up today, we know now how alone he really was in his sorrow. He had no guidance but his own, no confidant but his diary, no one to tell him him “the prospect for the future” was, in fact, quite bright. It’s all the more remarkable, then, that he eventually found his way.

Thursday July 31

by


[no entry]

—————-

No word from Papa today, but here’s what was going on in the world:

ALL-DAY FIGHT OPENS MOVE TO GAIN MERCY FOR FRANKS SLAYERS; Defense Seeks to Show Mitigating Mental Disease by Testimony of Experts. [Clarence Darrow opened his defense in the Leopold and Loeb trial, though he would eventually advise his clients to plead guilty. Eventually spared the death penalty, Loeb would be murdered in prison while Leopold was paroled after 33 years.]

CROWDS GREET DAVIS ON WAY TO NEW YORK; Candidate, Warmly Welcomed at Rockland and Bath, Makes Brief Speeches. [Democratic Presidential candidate John W. Davis, back from an eleven-day vacation in Maine, began his campaign in earnest.]

Rye Bread Cost Rises in Vienna. [I figure Papa might have been interested in the price of bread in Vienna since he was Austro-Hungarian. Rye bread was, according to the Times, “the people’s (sic) staple diet it Austria.”]

THOMAS HITS DAVIS FOR STAND ON LABOR; Socialist Nominee for Governor Says Democratic Leader Has Never Acted for People. [As a union activist, Papa would probably have read anything about John W. Davis’s relationship with labor.]

GOMPERS OPPOSES ENDORSING PARTIES; Declares Federation Executive Won’t Pick Any Candidates at Atlantic City Meeting. [After some well-publicized consideration, Samuel Gompers decided not to throw the support of the American Federation of Labor behind any Presidential candidate, saying “…the one hope for the wage earners on the political field lies in being partisan to principles and not to political organizations.”]

AIR MAIL MAKES GOOD; And New York-San Francisco Service Will Be Continued. [After a thirty-day trail of transcontinental airmail, the Postal Service decided to make the New York-San Francisco run permanent. According to airmailpioneers.org, “The schedule required departure from the initial termini in the morning and arrival at the end of the route late in the afternoon of the next day.” Night flying, only a two-year-old practice among Postal Service pilots, made this schedule possible.]

Friday Aug 1

by


Just strolled around with
some friends this evening

————-

Matt’s Notes

With temperatures in the low 70’s and no signs of rain, this was a lovely night for a stroll. Papa certainly went to synagogue to say Kadish for his father before joining his friends.

Here’s how he looked in his summer hat:

And here are some street scenes from the 20’s:

———–

Image sources: “Signaling to offices, curb market, New York City (1922)” and “People looking at plants in park, New York City (1920)” . Since these shots are of Bryant Park and Wall Street, respectively, they really have nothing to do with Papa and his friends on the Lower East Side in the summer of 1924, but I figured they were interesting anyway (the Wall Street shot). Both are from the Library of Congress with no known restrictions on publication.

Saturday Aug 2

by

Again a baseball game
Life is so monotonous
Visited relatives in the
Bronx.

———

Matt’s Notes

I assume Papa caught the Giants-Pittsburgh matchup at the Polo Grounds en route to his relatives in the Bronx. (If the Yankees were in town he might have seen them, but they were in St. Louis playing the Browns.) Papa would have taken the 9th Avenue Line to the Polo Grounds at 155th street, jumped off, watched the game, and jumped back on to cross over into the Bronx.

Alas, failing to sense Papa’s terrible ennui, the Giants worsened his mood by losing, 7-6.

Image source:

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